We have a family wedding coming up and I’m a little out of practice for buying wedding gifts.  I’m running into a problem and need some advice…

I struggle with the following: do I buy from the registry or do I “go off the list.”  If I buy a gift on the registry, it should just be a matter of setting my budget and then finding a gift that matches the price.  The bride/groom get what they wanted (or at least what they wanted the day they used the gun).  Another nice aspect is you can buy part of a set (dinnerware, towels, etc.) and you can assume someone else will help complete the set.  Finally, and inevitably, returns are usually pretty easy.

On the other hand, when you watch someone open a registry gift, it’s kind of like watching someone open a package of underwear that they’ve had in the dresser before.  There’s some recognition of, “Oh, yeah, I remember those.”  Hmm.  Nice smile, bridie.

If you go off the list, you risk buying something that they a) hate b) laugh at c) pray that you also included a gift receipt.  Or, you can buy something that is unique in a good way.  You can give the couple something that they remember 10 years from now as a special gift.  In my case, I got a couple of gifts from Tiffany that were very much unexpected.  I do not shop at Tiffany for obviou$ reasons (maybe I would if I found a coupon online!).  We also got a Nativity Set that I really enjoy that we certainly didn’t register for.

So, I’m looking for your thoughts.  Registry or not… or do I just write a check and call it a night?