Things I hate to hear:

• “What are we doing today?” Said by the hair stylist.  I really want to say, “I’m not going to do anything but sit here.  It’s your job to make me look good.”
• “I’ll be taking care of you today” Said by the waiter/waitress.  Really taking care of me would require more than bringing my lunch.  It might include a nice shoulder rub, a warm wash cloth to put on my face, maybe turn off the noisy background sounds of the restaurant.
• “Did you find everything today?” Said by the checkout cashier.  Do they really want to know that I couldn’t find everything on my list?  Are they going to tell me where it is and wait for me to come back, even though I’ve got all my other groceries spread out on the conveyer belt.

Geez, am I in a mood today, or what!!!